You couldn't make it up!

Those of you who have the pleasure of living and working in Cyrus won't find any of what I'm about to write a surprise at all, those of you who haven't will think that can' be right he's just making all that up!

So I'll start at the beginning of last week, I get to work to find that one of our migrants (who incidently has only foot - this fact makes his exploits far more impressive!) has registered his protest at not being granted asylum by travelling to Limassol and climbing to the top of an 80 foot high crane. Once atop this crane he starts to threaten to jump and hurt his children unless he is treated humanely. After intense negotiations with the Republic Of Cyprus' Police he climbs down whereupon he is arrested by them and certified as a loony by a Cypriot Doctor - a judge is duly called who refuses to commit him as he is "a British problem" - so CyPol bring him back to the base whereupon our gallant boys in blue decline to detain him unless they get it in writing from somebody senior at ten o'clock on a Sunday night. This isn't forthcoming so they re-admit said loony to the camp where they will (on double time) keep an eye on him. Monday morning my phone is red hot with calls to and from the Police asking what to do, the Attorney General's Office telling me what the Police should do, me telling them to do it, them declining (basically because they are scared to do anything), until eventually they are ordered to detain him under the Mental Health laws. Six police officers (or 19 depending on who you believe) get him to the back of a Police van, where he asks if he can nip back to his tent because he's forgotten something, he is allowed to go and get whatever it is he's forgotten, whereupon our one footed resident loony legs it and climbs to the top of the tallest silo on camp and starts throwing things at the boys in blue! 

At this point my week has got of to quite a humorous start - laughing at the ineptitude of the SBA Police is always good! Unfortunately my smugness doesn't last long - my lot have a damn good try at outdoing the incompetence demonstrated by their Police colleagues, I think they were attempting to show solidarity maybe?

It all starts so well, a foreign national is identified trying to come through our check points with a false Greek ID card - he's intercepted and arrested. If the film stopped here we'd all be getting awards and medals however.......my lot decide not to handcuff him and take him into a search room, where they decide not to search him (despite instructions to do so)- they call the Republic Immigration service and the guy is on a wanted list - so the Republic will come at get him. After receiving this information my gallant band of brothers and sisters decide to offer their prisoner a drink  - only to find he's not where they left him. Perhaps he's gone to the toilet they think. A full search of the toilet indicates he's not there - at which point is dawns on them that he's buggered off because they didn't bother to guard the door of the room he was detained in. As a result a suspected attempted murderer is still on the loose somewhere in Cyprus and it's our fault! 

Monday this week comes,it can't be as bad as last week thinks I as I head off to work - again it starts OK, no dramas over the weekend, coffee on my desk when I arrive it's  all good. About 11 o clock I get a phone call from Beccy, while she's been at work somebody has come and cut off the electricity! I ring Cyprus electricity board, negotiate my way through the usual press * for English, press 1 for bills etc etc etc and eventually speak to a person 

"Ne" he says,

 I ask in my best Greek "Milate Anglikka" he replies that yes of course he can speak English. So off I go telling him my problem, I've been cut off I say, I give him my account number.H

e tells me that's not my account it's an old account can I give him the number on my bill.

 I tell him I've not received a bill, this account number is the one they gave me when I transferred the account to my name.

 He says I have had a bill, I haven't paid it and they've texted me as well. 

I tell him honestly I haven't had a bill and I certainly haven't had a text how much do I owe.

 He says it's on my bill,

I say I haven't had a bill

This goes on for a while until he decides that he's had enough and just hangs up!

I ring again, eventually I speak to a girl, who is actually very helpful. They sent me a bill in January she tells me. I say that I haven't had one but how can we sort it out. Come down and pay the 440 euros outstanding in cash now and you'll be reconnected this afternoon. So I head to the bank scrabble down the back of the sofa and knock together 440 euros and on a hunch go and check a letter box around the corner which despite the house being clearly empty is absolutely stuffed full of post. There in amongst the leaflets for Lidl and Trocodearos Pizza are electricity bills not just addressed to me, but also to about half of Oroklini - the postman clearly couldn't be arsed on electricity bill day. Anyway off I go to the Electricity board, with my money and my bill, where they kindly relieved me of said 440 euros and weren't at all bothered or surprised that the bills were in somebody else's letterbox!

And don't get me started on my shower of a football team!!!!!!

Now sometimes I think - why are you bothering with this Reed lad, when I have those thoughts I tune in at 20-00 our time, to watch the Boris Johnson show (sorry the six o'clock news) and follow it up by watching that Polish sounding bloke present the weather and think to myself here's why!

Half Term Adventures

So where were we, it seems forever since I last blogged. Half term has been and gone, as have 3 out of 4 of the sproglets, but before I start flooding the blog with photos of them and their adventures ........................... just look at this sky!  It lasted for just a couple of minutes, the race was on to find the camera and thankfuly the battery wasn't flat.  I do have a tendancy to put the thing to charge and forget to switch the socket on!

So the weather perked up for half term, Abbie had been on weather watch for atleast two weeks before she was due to arrive and was positively wibbling with excitement at the thought of leaving the cold UK behind for a week or so.  

We decided an outing to Cape Greko was in order it is fast becoming a favourite dog walking spot, the eagle eyed of you will notice a new addition, he is called Edward.  Andy found him in the middle of  a busy road, he isn't micro chipped, and has obviously looking after himself for a while.  He is not as yet a permanent addition to the household......................are we fostering or adopting?.................  Still undecided.  

Next day trip was just down the road to Victor Beach, a day of kayaking and attempted paddle boarding followed by lunch at the Officers Mess.  Getting upright and staying upright on a paddle board is not as easy as it looks, I am being particularly generous and only posting flattering photos, there are alot of pics with bums in the air or bums in the water which I am keeping under lock and key simply because most of them are of my rear.......................Andy should never be let loose with a camera!

Finally we pootled off to Nicosia again, this time we didn't need hat and gloves, we were smothered in sun lotion, it was a beautiful day

I am gently trying to encourage Mr Reed to blog, he does have tales to tell which I am sure Mr Jif will find amusing.

Beccy xx

Nicosia

Hi again, you'll just have to put up with me again, Andy is a little preoccupied with a visit from the head of Border Force this week, oh, and he is squeezing in a little bit of diving!  We did have a storm on Friday night though which carried on into Saturday which meant a Zenobia dive had to be postponed possibly until Sunday morning but after a fruitful trip to the pub to watch Newcastle win in the football and England win in the rugby it was abandoned due to the volume of vodka which was flowing nicely.  I have a feeling this coming weekend could have a six nations and premier league theme too with the arrival of Sam and Matt thrown in for good measure, and I do believe there is another dive planned!

A couple of weeks ago when it was still flippin cold we took a trip to Nicosia old town so this will be another picture heavy post.  Due to our anti social/out of season tourism habit there is a distinct lack of people!

We simply wandered around the south side which was cafe culture central and quite pleasant and must be humming with tourists and locals when the weather warms a little.  Then we crossed on foot to the north using the Ledra Street crossing, quite bizarre having your passport checked by both sides whist wandering through cafe culture central!  Once in the north though there was that same familiar feeling of peace and tranquility despite being in the same city where only a few minutes before there was much more hustle and glitz.

The Turkish Cypriots have a fantastic reuse/recycle policy this is Christian Church converted to a mosque by the addition of a minaret, this is common place in the north.

A Penny Farthing?????????????

Another example of British architecture and Turkish recycling.

Yet more examples of colonial Britain. 

Time for refreshments.

I think this pic deserves a caption, entries on a postcard please..................

Lefkara

We are doing the touristy thing, typically for us we are doing it out of season when there is a lack of other touristy types.  Apparently in the summer Lefkara is full of tourists and coaches bringing the tourists in especially to irritate folks like Andy who when we visited Cape Greko declared that there were far too many people there (I counted four cars in the car park !!!!!!!!!!!!).

So, back to Lefkara, it is located in the southern foothills of the Troodos Mountains and if famous for its needle lace.  The women sit on their doorsteps making the lace, some of the lace is quite beautiful and intricate and very detailed.  Despite being a tourist haven this is the most unspoilt village and area we have visited in the south of the island, the houses are all built of stone and nestled into the hillside with the most spectacular views.   So this is a picture heavy post but it is hard to choose just a few photos, so am just gonna post the lot.

Andy's favourite street in Cyprus.

Built during British rule, think thats failrly obvious, still in use and sitting proudly in the village centre (unlike council offices in the UK which are being closed/demolished and replaced with steel/glass sturctures which will last five minutes......mini rant over!

Andy's favourite street again 

When we left Lefkara we kept on driving further in to Troodos foothills, the latter photographs were taken whilst doing lots of pulling over, parking up  and ooing an arrghing at the views.  The photographs don't really do the views and scenery justice, so, if you are ever in Cyprus, Lefkara should be on your list of must do places to visit.

xx